….*shame*….
So…Yesterday, I BINGED so fucking bad that it was beyond extremely, incredibly, ridiculously, epically shameful. We had ordered food but it didn’t arrive on time so I went freaking APE SHIT. I’m not eating anything today, am going to exercise for an addition 20 minutes/150 calories, and am going to do so even though tomorrow is a planned lower calorie day. Hopefully, I won’t gain weight but after last night…my efforts may be in vein.
I’ve decided that I need to carry around something in my pocket to squeeze so that I have some sort of sensory input to focus on to stop me from mother fucking binging.
If I do decide to ever binge, I’m only ever allowed to once a month, and I can’t be gross about it. I mean, binging happens naturally at buffets and if you’re eating multiple courses. It’s the difference between eating a lot because you want it and just…nomming up everything really fast, shoveling food into your mouth and then not being able to taste it when you do.
I’ve made so much progress lately and then I go and do this…And I’m supposed to go out next week with other people where I’m getting a three-course meal paid.
Going to take a few pieces of the appetizer, eat the entree, and then half of the dessert. That won’t be too bad right?
Also, based on the fact of what I want to eat on Tuesday, I can’t eat breakfast that day…which will suck. I’ll need to drink a bunch of water and carry something in my pocket and eat slowly so I don’t binge later.
Just…FML. FML so hard right now.
